there ARE such things as stupid questions.

Y’all.

I love love LOVE learning what people have learned in their years of life. It’s just incredible how different (yet similar somehow) that people’s stories are. It makes me want to ask literally every single human to tell me what their life take-aways are. I think maybe I just might…

Today’s wisdom comes to you from Ashley Boyd, the sister of Brent (my brother in-soul-law) and a third of the #NYEinNYC trio. Ashley is a complete and total adventurer. She has traveled the world wide, and when Rach and I asked if she wanted in on NYC, she said yes within minutes of us asking. #ADVENTURER

I’ve known Ashley for about as I’ve known her brother and if I know one thing about her, it’s that she’s loves her family, and she loves her friends. Okay, that’s two things. Ashley’s lessons learned are such a great reminder to me that relationships matter, and they matter infinitely. And on a less infinite yet very practical sense, so does getting my oil changed.

1. Live loved. Fight to receive love, it's different and often harder than giving love. 

2. Laughter is truly and hugely important. 

3. There ARE such things as stupid questions, and in some cases you shouldn't ask them. 

4. On the flip side, asking good questions is an art form. (My closest friends ask the best questions). 

5. Moving your body will always make you feel better, especially when all you want to do is take a nap. 

6. Genuinely, the joy of the Lord is my strength. 

7. Comparison actually is the thief of joy. 

8. ALWAYS put your phone down at dinner, even when eating by yourself. 

9. Don't start dating someone during your first semester of college. 

10. It's ok, to not be OK. Give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel. 

11. Basing decisions solely off feelings is not always wise. Facts matter. 

12. Being intentional with friends and/or strangers is ALWAYS worth it, even if it feels exhausting. 

13. Be well prepared for EVERY interview. 

14. People do strange things. 

15. Worship unashamedly. 

16. It's crucial to forever remain teachable. 

17. Handwritten thank you notes are extremely powerful. 

17. Fight long and hard for important relationships. 

18. Pain is never meaningless. 

19. Time heals, but God both heals and restores. 

20. Harboring anger or unforgiveness is exhausting. 

21. Heartache is a horrible kind of pain. Sometimes the simple acknowledgment from others that heartache sucks, is all that is needed. 

22. Travel when possible. Getting to know the locals and their culture is one of the greatest gifts in traveling. 

23. Getting your oil changed in time matters. 

24. Traveling long distances to see loved ones is worth the sacrifices made to get there. 

25. Your body actually starts to hurt more, the older you get. Adults weren't lying! 

PS. The pic above is of Ashley, the horse whisperer, working out at a ranch in Colorado. No big.

complaining is the adult version of whining.

You know that expression ‘strike while the iron is hot?’

Well I’ve done exactly the opposite of that.

I have officially failed at writing about my New Year’s Eve trip to NYC. Which is such a dang shame because the trip was da boooomb dot coooom. Life just got so busy, you know? If you were really invested in my soiree in NYC and waiting for the second installment with bated breathe (which I know undoubtedly describes all four of you out there that read my blog), there’s a small chance there might be two more posts about NYC coming your way - I asked Rach and Ashley to each write a little diddy about our trip. But I’ll be honest, it isn’t looking too hopeful. What can I say, 2016 just kicked right on off.

Since writing about NYC has been a total bust thus far (here’s a one word recap in case I never mention it again: itwasamaaaaaaazing), I’ve been real laissez faire about writing anything. But I decided tonight, that’s just lame of me. I said I was going to write about my trip, I didn’t (which once again serves to remind me of my life lesson number 19: underpromise and overdeliver), but that doesn’t mean I should just up and stop writing altogether. So all that to say, the NYC ship has sailed, but the what-life-lessons-have-you-learned-throughout-your-life ship is pretty firmly anchored at port. 

Allow me to introduce you to Brent. 

Brent’s married to my sister Rachael (okay, we’re not biological sisters for you fact checkers out there, but we may as well be). By the way, Brent is married to the NYC Rachael, not the previously blogged about Supper Club, is as young as she’ll ever be Rachael. Common mistake though. So since Rachael is my sister, Brent is in effect like my brother (in technical terms I think the husband of your soul sister may be your brother in-soul-law? I'm not sure). Anyway, you get the point. We’re close. In fact, the three of us call ourselves The Three Philosophers. We love to philosophize in our free time. So for example one of us (Brent) will casually send the group a text in the middle of an average day and ask some sort of weighty, insanswerable question like is healthcare a right or a privilege? See I told you, just a couple of everyday philosophers, the three of us. Since we philosophize on the reg, it came as no shock to me that many of Brent's life lessons are rather deep and philosophical in nature. All of a sudden I'm questioning what the word 'philosophy' even means. I'm going to Google it. Alright, I'm back.

Below are the 27 things Brent has learned in his 27 years of life on planet earth. I think I love all of these. Expect, of course, for number 22 which I'm ethically opposed to because you know, animal rights:)

1. No one can predict the future.
2. The world is driven by money.
3. You can’t change someone if they don’t want to change themselves. But you can set boundaries.
4. Politics can easily become people's religion - the means by which they, their loved ones, and their country will be “saved." 
5. No worldview is without questions it can't answer.
6. Don't put anyone on a pedestal - you will be disappointed.
7. It takes a ton of hard work to be great at anything.
8. You can love someone and disagree with them, even if the world says you can’t. 
9. Two wrongs don't make a right.
10. Practicing for five minutes a day will take you farther than you think.
11. It's way harder to do the right thing.
12. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right.
13. Fads determine a lot of our beliefs, opinions, and tastes.
14. I value stability and consistency.
15. Brokenness in families is the rule not the exception.
16. Teaching a man to fish is better than giving a man a fish, but it is much harder for both parties involved.
17. People say things on the Internet they wouldn't say in person.
18. Complaining is the adult version of whining. 
19. It's easy to drift towards bitterness. Joy takes effort.
20. Don't bottle things up. Talk.
21. Don't take yourself too seriously. 
22. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
23. Sometimes you gotta go all in or you will get hurt (like when doing a back flip or asking a girl out).
24. Today's "insurmountable" problems are often forgotten tomorrow.
25. Science is the best explanation of our natural world that we have at the present time. It is ever-changing and often incomplete. 
26. Differentiating facts and opinions is an important yet often neglected skill.
27. Everyone wants to dance, some are just scared to.

i'm as young as i'll ever be.

Remember how a few days ago I made the claim that I was going to write fourteen posts about my trip to NYC? Well, exhaustion has finally caught up with me and the only thing I really want to be doing is snuggling up under my puffy white comforter and sleeping until the weather is warm again. So until I’ve caught up on some shut eye (I know you don’t ever technically catch up on sleep) and have something to say other than 'I'm sooo sleepyyyy', I’m going to defer to my friends and share some of the things they've learned in their lives so far. 

So without much preamble, here is the second installment of one of my favorite things I’ve ever asked people: what have you learned in your (fill in the blank with your current age) years of life? Here are the 29 things my dear friend Rachael has learned in her 29 years of life. She’s learned some good stuff, y’all. Number 28 is pure gold. And so is number 20.

(PS. It’s so incredibly interesting to me to see what each person finds remarkable and worth noting based on their own individual journeys through life. It’s such a testament to how incredibly unique and rich each of us are as humans).

1. Speeding tickets and car accidents aren't as huge of a deal as I think. If I’m safe, it will be okay. 

2. Wear sunscreen, and don't go tanning.

3. It’s sometimes better to hold my tongue than to tell my mom what I'm really thinking and my husband sometimes, too.

4. Reading is fun.

5. Commit to friendships.

6. It’s cool to follow your morals.

7. It’s okay to say “no.”

8. It’s okay to say "yes" and get pulled outside your comfort zone.

9. I am valuable.

10. Timing is important, and things will work out (like singleness, getting married, having kids…).

11. When a hurricane comes, don't freak out.

12. Moments are more valuable than things.

13. Be present!

14. Exercise so you can eat what you want.

15. Zits are no big deal.

16. Be open to other cultures by forming relationships.

17. Daddy’s are the best, and I'm so thankful for hugs I get from mine and the time I get to talk to him and be heard.

18. Water is healing.

19. God never leaves my side.

20. It’s okay to be wrong.

21. I will make mistakes.

22. Generosity is something that's hard for me that I want to get better at.

23. Community is freakin’ important.

24. Don’t be scared of change.

25. It’s good to be patient, and give things time.

26. Stop and smell the roses.

27. Pursue what's important.

28. How ever old I think I'm getting, I'm as young as I'll ever be.

29. Live with gratitude (Kac helped me learn that!).

welcome to new york, it's been waiting for us | part 1

One. December 30, 2015. 6:32AM. Long Term Parking, JFK International Airport. Row A-19. 

This is the first in presumably a 14-part series on my most recent 60-hour escapade in the city that never sleeps, currently being written by a girl who feels like she may never sleep again. Fourteen posts feels ambitious, but why the heck not, you know? (I’m in the stage of sleep deprivation where I feel pretty darn invincible so fourteen posts feels like pssh please. If someone told me I was a cyborg, chances feel high that I’d believe them. And go outside right now and try to fight the robots. Just to give you some perspective of where I am mentally right now.)

Anyway, before I kick this thing off here’s what you need to know. Three girls (me, Rachael, and Ashley), one dream (and by that I mean Rachael has wanted to spend New Year’s Eve in NYC since she was 12, and Ashley and I are just suckers for adventure and travel), and one hella long road trip to New York City babyyyyyyyyyy! The trip was truly wonderful in every way. I took 14 polaroids to commemorate the experience so consider each post an elongated caption. Alright, here goes.

To kick things off, here are 10 notable (semi-notable) things that happened on our way to the Big Apple:

1. Traveling is all about flexibility and adaptability. And by that I mean, you may have bought your $80 cross-country, round trip bus tickets in October but you gotta be ready for that day-before-your-trip Google search that reveals that 98% of people report having had a negative experience with the bus line you chose. It also is worth noting that 96% of people wouldn’t use said bus line again. Which begs the question, who are these 2% of people that despite their negative experience would venture to do it again? I’m left to assume it’s someone like Daryl from The Walking Dead. Ain’t scared of nothin’. Alright well point being that we made the epitome of a game time decision, decided to eat the $80 cost of the bus tickets we'd already bought, forgive ourselves for the total lack of foresight in not having realized the bus we were scheduled to take was sketch mc-freakin-sketch, rented a car (got double charged for the rental, but that’s a different story Hertz has already heard a lot about), and geared up for what would be a 14.5 hour - through the night - road trip to NYC from Atlanta. So to recap, for two months we thought we were bussing to New York, but we ended up renting a car last minute. The moral here is you gotta stay on your toes, people. Gotta stay on your toes.

2. People do weird stuff on the roads of America at night. We saw a cyclist just beat bopping along the interstate (yep, interstate) outside Washington D.C. circa 2:30AM. No reflectors, grey clothing, going with the flow of traffic, which I guess is your best bet if you’re choosing to bike on the interstate. Also, did I mention their was a majooooooor fog situation going on out there? To put all the pieces together, it was dark, it was late, it was foggy, it was cold - which doesn’t really affect visibility but just sucks - and IT WAS THE FREAKIN' INTERSTATE, and this fellow was just riding his bike like he was on a beach cruiser on Kiawah Island. 

3. Beef jerky is the ultimate snack. Truly. Not just car snack, but snack snack. We may or may not have blown through five bags of premium jerkey in less than four days. We felt a little like cave people, but what better way to connect with your ancestors than to gnaw on some dried meat?

4. Car naps beat bus naps. Especially sketchy bus naps

5. Versas get amazing gas mileage! Which was nifty seeing as to how the toll roads up north ROB YOU BLIND. Seriously, a $15 toll just feels unethical. 

6. Rachael would rather her husband have spaghetti for arm/armpit hairs than spaghetti for nose hairs. Ashley and I stronglyyy disagree. But to be clear, our collective preference would be for regular human hair.

7. So about the parking situation at JFK. In an effort to try and save $18 on parking, we decided to not park in the official JFK lot and look for some supposedly cheaper parking we found online. Thirty minutes later and somewhere around 22 loopty loop turns on the crazy roadways (quite literally), we were back at the entrance to the JFK parking lot. There was no mystery cheap parking lot - I hate when the internet lies - and to get back to where we started was nothing short of an act of Congress. The northern roads were not our friend this morning. 

8. uberPool is a thing. Think carpooling but with Uber. We had a lovely expereince with our driver whose name I cannot pronounce (or remember) and a Brooklyn native, Euthoria? Eurethlia? Regardless, I'd recommend the 'pool.

Other than some naps, some laughs, some stops, some jerkey, some songs, some more jerkey, some Serial (not for me, I was out cold), some more jerkey, and a nighttime driving tour through foggy northeast America, that about sums up our 14.5 hour car trip, which started at 3:30PM on December 29th and had us arriving at JFK around 6:00AM on the 30th. 

Stay tuned for the second installment, coming your way (potentially) sometime soon.

love and sleeeeeeeep, k

always ask for a bag of to-go chips.

So a week or so ago I blogged about the 27 (and a half) things I feel like I've acquiesced so far in my twenty-seven years of life. I've been so intrigued by this whole idea,  these lessons that we learn that stick with us throughout our lives, that I've asked my friends what they feel like they've learned in their varying years of life. 

In the spirit of Christmas (well not so much Christmas, mostly just vacation and free time), I'm about to share the first of what I hope are many life lessons coming to you from the people that have most intimately shaped and influenced by life. 

First up is Holly. 

Holly is my longest standing roomie. If you know me then you may know I've had circa twenty roommates in the last nine years (not counting summer roomies). So Holly has pretty much reached master class roommate status; we're going on 2 years, 4 months strong:) In an effort to tell the whole story which really just means the honest story, I have to tell you this: I very recently hurt Holly. Inadvertently, but very real-ly. And the way Holly handled the whole thing I think has been the most groundbreaking thing that's happened for me in our friendship in our six or seven years of knowing each other. I like to think I have an easy time talking about my feelings and that I'm usually pretty considerate of other people's, too. If I'm honest (which I'm trying to be), I think pretty highly of my ability to communicate openly and honestly within relationships. Such was definitely not the case recently. And let me tell you, Holly handled the whole thing like a champ. And by champ I mean, she was honest, humble, gracious, and forgiving. The Lord really used my major communication snafu with Holly to expose and break down some deep, DEEP seeded layers of self-righteousness and pride in my heart, areas in my life where I consciously or subconsciously have come to believe that I'm basically the shit. I, in fact, am not the shit and have been so reminded that any character trait or personality trait or any goodness in me that I like or that others like is a result of Him cultivating that in me. Instead of that always leading me to God worship, it recently led me to self-worship, and unfortunately Holly was the recipient of the collateral damage caused my total thoughtlessness.

The point in me sharing all of that is to say this: number 26 on this list is no joke. I've seen Holly live it out in her life, and I'm a better human for it. And really, I've seen Holly live out all of these things she's learned (perks of roommate-ship). There's always a bag of to-go chips at our house if Holly has had Mexican in the last few nights, she (we) do love a good Friends episode anytime, anywhere, and she always sticks to her word. If she says she'll be there, she'll be there. 

So without further adieu (sorry, that was a way longer adieu than I had anticipated), here are 26 things that Holly has learned in her 26 years of life...

1. DishwashING detergent and diswashER detergent provide very different results when used in a dishwasher...

2. Always ask for a bag of to-go chips. And drinks for that matter.

3. No high school can adequately prepare you for the rigor of college.

4. Nobody really cares what your GPA was.

5. The only score that really matters is your credit score.

6. Don't stop playing sports.

7. Spending money on experiences is always worth it.

8. Finding your identity in Christ is the only one that holds up.  Finding it anywhere else will only disappoint.

9. Friends and Gilmore Girls will never get old.

10. Showing up is one of the best gifts you can give.

11. Do it — even if you're just doing it for the resume. But realize you have some heart change that needs to happen.

12. If he's not asking you out, it's because he doesn't want to.

13. Just use the gel pens — even if they're too pretty, and you don't want them run out.  They'll just dry up instead.

14. Quality not quantity.

15. Using olive oil sounds fancy even though it's the lazy way of cooking. (Most of the time for me at least. For example, pasta tossed in olive oil). 

16. Be nice to the secretaries. They hold all the power.

17. Learn to read an actual map.  Don't always rely on technology.  It will fail you sooner or later.

18. Memorize at least a couple of phone numbers (like your mom's).

19. Say thank you. Out loud or in a note. Gratitude goes a long way.

20. Keep your word.  If you said you'd go to the party, go!

21. Spend time with people — even when you're tired.

22. As a working adult, leave the house before 7PM in the winter, or you won't leave.

23. Always keep a coat in your car.

24. FOMO is real. Don't let it get the best of you.

25. Write stuff down — post-its and napkins are fine.  Just write it down.

26. Be honest about how you really feel — with yourself and with others.

PS. Those lovely, airy flowers were photographed by Holly. She happens to be a super talented photog.