there ARE such things as stupid questions.

Y’all.

I love love LOVE learning what people have learned in their years of life. It’s just incredible how different (yet similar somehow) that people’s stories are. It makes me want to ask literally every single human to tell me what their life take-aways are. I think maybe I just might…

Today’s wisdom comes to you from Ashley Boyd, the sister of Brent (my brother in-soul-law) and a third of the #NYEinNYC trio. Ashley is a complete and total adventurer. She has traveled the world wide, and when Rach and I asked if she wanted in on NYC, she said yes within minutes of us asking. #ADVENTURER

I’ve known Ashley for about as I’ve known her brother and if I know one thing about her, it’s that she’s loves her family, and she loves her friends. Okay, that’s two things. Ashley’s lessons learned are such a great reminder to me that relationships matter, and they matter infinitely. And on a less infinite yet very practical sense, so does getting my oil changed.

1. Live loved. Fight to receive love, it's different and often harder than giving love. 

2. Laughter is truly and hugely important. 

3. There ARE such things as stupid questions, and in some cases you shouldn't ask them. 

4. On the flip side, asking good questions is an art form. (My closest friends ask the best questions). 

5. Moving your body will always make you feel better, especially when all you want to do is take a nap. 

6. Genuinely, the joy of the Lord is my strength. 

7. Comparison actually is the thief of joy. 

8. ALWAYS put your phone down at dinner, even when eating by yourself. 

9. Don't start dating someone during your first semester of college. 

10. It's ok, to not be OK. Give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel. 

11. Basing decisions solely off feelings is not always wise. Facts matter. 

12. Being intentional with friends and/or strangers is ALWAYS worth it, even if it feels exhausting. 

13. Be well prepared for EVERY interview. 

14. People do strange things. 

15. Worship unashamedly. 

16. It's crucial to forever remain teachable. 

17. Handwritten thank you notes are extremely powerful. 

17. Fight long and hard for important relationships. 

18. Pain is never meaningless. 

19. Time heals, but God both heals and restores. 

20. Harboring anger or unforgiveness is exhausting. 

21. Heartache is a horrible kind of pain. Sometimes the simple acknowledgment from others that heartache sucks, is all that is needed. 

22. Travel when possible. Getting to know the locals and their culture is one of the greatest gifts in traveling. 

23. Getting your oil changed in time matters. 

24. Traveling long distances to see loved ones is worth the sacrifices made to get there. 

25. Your body actually starts to hurt more, the older you get. Adults weren't lying! 

PS. The pic above is of Ashley, the horse whisperer, working out at a ranch in Colorado. No big.

complaining is the adult version of whining.

You know that expression ‘strike while the iron is hot?’

Well I’ve done exactly the opposite of that.

I have officially failed at writing about my New Year’s Eve trip to NYC. Which is such a dang shame because the trip was da boooomb dot coooom. Life just got so busy, you know? If you were really invested in my soiree in NYC and waiting for the second installment with bated breathe (which I know undoubtedly describes all four of you out there that read my blog), there’s a small chance there might be two more posts about NYC coming your way - I asked Rach and Ashley to each write a little diddy about our trip. But I’ll be honest, it isn’t looking too hopeful. What can I say, 2016 just kicked right on off.

Since writing about NYC has been a total bust thus far (here’s a one word recap in case I never mention it again: itwasamaaaaaaazing), I’ve been real laissez faire about writing anything. But I decided tonight, that’s just lame of me. I said I was going to write about my trip, I didn’t (which once again serves to remind me of my life lesson number 19: underpromise and overdeliver), but that doesn’t mean I should just up and stop writing altogether. So all that to say, the NYC ship has sailed, but the what-life-lessons-have-you-learned-throughout-your-life ship is pretty firmly anchored at port. 

Allow me to introduce you to Brent. 

Brent’s married to my sister Rachael (okay, we’re not biological sisters for you fact checkers out there, but we may as well be). By the way, Brent is married to the NYC Rachael, not the previously blogged about Supper Club, is as young as she’ll ever be Rachael. Common mistake though. So since Rachael is my sister, Brent is in effect like my brother (in technical terms I think the husband of your soul sister may be your brother in-soul-law? I'm not sure). Anyway, you get the point. We’re close. In fact, the three of us call ourselves The Three Philosophers. We love to philosophize in our free time. So for example one of us (Brent) will casually send the group a text in the middle of an average day and ask some sort of weighty, insanswerable question like is healthcare a right or a privilege? See I told you, just a couple of everyday philosophers, the three of us. Since we philosophize on the reg, it came as no shock to me that many of Brent's life lessons are rather deep and philosophical in nature. All of a sudden I'm questioning what the word 'philosophy' even means. I'm going to Google it. Alright, I'm back.

Below are the 27 things Brent has learned in his 27 years of life on planet earth. I think I love all of these. Expect, of course, for number 22 which I'm ethically opposed to because you know, animal rights:)

1. No one can predict the future.
2. The world is driven by money.
3. You can’t change someone if they don’t want to change themselves. But you can set boundaries.
4. Politics can easily become people's religion - the means by which they, their loved ones, and their country will be “saved." 
5. No worldview is without questions it can't answer.
6. Don't put anyone on a pedestal - you will be disappointed.
7. It takes a ton of hard work to be great at anything.
8. You can love someone and disagree with them, even if the world says you can’t. 
9. Two wrongs don't make a right.
10. Practicing for five minutes a day will take you farther than you think.
11. It's way harder to do the right thing.
12. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right.
13. Fads determine a lot of our beliefs, opinions, and tastes.
14. I value stability and consistency.
15. Brokenness in families is the rule not the exception.
16. Teaching a man to fish is better than giving a man a fish, but it is much harder for both parties involved.
17. People say things on the Internet they wouldn't say in person.
18. Complaining is the adult version of whining. 
19. It's easy to drift towards bitterness. Joy takes effort.
20. Don't bottle things up. Talk.
21. Don't take yourself too seriously. 
22. There is more than one way to skin a cat.
23. Sometimes you gotta go all in or you will get hurt (like when doing a back flip or asking a girl out).
24. Today's "insurmountable" problems are often forgotten tomorrow.
25. Science is the best explanation of our natural world that we have at the present time. It is ever-changing and often incomplete. 
26. Differentiating facts and opinions is an important yet often neglected skill.
27. Everyone wants to dance, some are just scared to.

i'm as young as i'll ever be.

Remember how a few days ago I made the claim that I was going to write fourteen posts about my trip to NYC? Well, exhaustion has finally caught up with me and the only thing I really want to be doing is snuggling up under my puffy white comforter and sleeping until the weather is warm again. So until I’ve caught up on some shut eye (I know you don’t ever technically catch up on sleep) and have something to say other than 'I'm sooo sleepyyyy', I’m going to defer to my friends and share some of the things they've learned in their lives so far. 

So without much preamble, here is the second installment of one of my favorite things I’ve ever asked people: what have you learned in your (fill in the blank with your current age) years of life? Here are the 29 things my dear friend Rachael has learned in her 29 years of life. She’s learned some good stuff, y’all. Number 28 is pure gold. And so is number 20.

(PS. It’s so incredibly interesting to me to see what each person finds remarkable and worth noting based on their own individual journeys through life. It’s such a testament to how incredibly unique and rich each of us are as humans).

1. Speeding tickets and car accidents aren't as huge of a deal as I think. If I’m safe, it will be okay. 

2. Wear sunscreen, and don't go tanning.

3. It’s sometimes better to hold my tongue than to tell my mom what I'm really thinking and my husband sometimes, too.

4. Reading is fun.

5. Commit to friendships.

6. It’s cool to follow your morals.

7. It’s okay to say “no.”

8. It’s okay to say "yes" and get pulled outside your comfort zone.

9. I am valuable.

10. Timing is important, and things will work out (like singleness, getting married, having kids…).

11. When a hurricane comes, don't freak out.

12. Moments are more valuable than things.

13. Be present!

14. Exercise so you can eat what you want.

15. Zits are no big deal.

16. Be open to other cultures by forming relationships.

17. Daddy’s are the best, and I'm so thankful for hugs I get from mine and the time I get to talk to him and be heard.

18. Water is healing.

19. God never leaves my side.

20. It’s okay to be wrong.

21. I will make mistakes.

22. Generosity is something that's hard for me that I want to get better at.

23. Community is freakin’ important.

24. Don’t be scared of change.

25. It’s good to be patient, and give things time.

26. Stop and smell the roses.

27. Pursue what's important.

28. How ever old I think I'm getting, I'm as young as I'll ever be.

29. Live with gratitude (Kac helped me learn that!).

always ask for a bag of to-go chips.

So a week or so ago I blogged about the 27 (and a half) things I feel like I've acquiesced so far in my twenty-seven years of life. I've been so intrigued by this whole idea,  these lessons that we learn that stick with us throughout our lives, that I've asked my friends what they feel like they've learned in their varying years of life. 

In the spirit of Christmas (well not so much Christmas, mostly just vacation and free time), I'm about to share the first of what I hope are many life lessons coming to you from the people that have most intimately shaped and influenced by life. 

First up is Holly. 

Holly is my longest standing roomie. If you know me then you may know I've had circa twenty roommates in the last nine years (not counting summer roomies). So Holly has pretty much reached master class roommate status; we're going on 2 years, 4 months strong:) In an effort to tell the whole story which really just means the honest story, I have to tell you this: I very recently hurt Holly. Inadvertently, but very real-ly. And the way Holly handled the whole thing I think has been the most groundbreaking thing that's happened for me in our friendship in our six or seven years of knowing each other. I like to think I have an easy time talking about my feelings and that I'm usually pretty considerate of other people's, too. If I'm honest (which I'm trying to be), I think pretty highly of my ability to communicate openly and honestly within relationships. Such was definitely not the case recently. And let me tell you, Holly handled the whole thing like a champ. And by champ I mean, she was honest, humble, gracious, and forgiving. The Lord really used my major communication snafu with Holly to expose and break down some deep, DEEP seeded layers of self-righteousness and pride in my heart, areas in my life where I consciously or subconsciously have come to believe that I'm basically the shit. I, in fact, am not the shit and have been so reminded that any character trait or personality trait or any goodness in me that I like or that others like is a result of Him cultivating that in me. Instead of that always leading me to God worship, it recently led me to self-worship, and unfortunately Holly was the recipient of the collateral damage caused my total thoughtlessness.

The point in me sharing all of that is to say this: number 26 on this list is no joke. I've seen Holly live it out in her life, and I'm a better human for it. And really, I've seen Holly live out all of these things she's learned (perks of roommate-ship). There's always a bag of to-go chips at our house if Holly has had Mexican in the last few nights, she (we) do love a good Friends episode anytime, anywhere, and she always sticks to her word. If she says she'll be there, she'll be there. 

So without further adieu (sorry, that was a way longer adieu than I had anticipated), here are 26 things that Holly has learned in her 26 years of life...

1. DishwashING detergent and diswashER detergent provide very different results when used in a dishwasher...

2. Always ask for a bag of to-go chips. And drinks for that matter.

3. No high school can adequately prepare you for the rigor of college.

4. Nobody really cares what your GPA was.

5. The only score that really matters is your credit score.

6. Don't stop playing sports.

7. Spending money on experiences is always worth it.

8. Finding your identity in Christ is the only one that holds up.  Finding it anywhere else will only disappoint.

9. Friends and Gilmore Girls will never get old.

10. Showing up is one of the best gifts you can give.

11. Do it — even if you're just doing it for the resume. But realize you have some heart change that needs to happen.

12. If he's not asking you out, it's because he doesn't want to.

13. Just use the gel pens — even if they're too pretty, and you don't want them run out.  They'll just dry up instead.

14. Quality not quantity.

15. Using olive oil sounds fancy even though it's the lazy way of cooking. (Most of the time for me at least. For example, pasta tossed in olive oil). 

16. Be nice to the secretaries. They hold all the power.

17. Learn to read an actual map.  Don't always rely on technology.  It will fail you sooner or later.

18. Memorize at least a couple of phone numbers (like your mom's).

19. Say thank you. Out loud or in a note. Gratitude goes a long way.

20. Keep your word.  If you said you'd go to the party, go!

21. Spend time with people — even when you're tired.

22. As a working adult, leave the house before 7PM in the winter, or you won't leave.

23. Always keep a coat in your car.

24. FOMO is real. Don't let it get the best of you.

25. Write stuff down — post-its and napkins are fine.  Just write it down.

26. Be honest about how you really feel — with yourself and with others.

PS. Those lovely, airy flowers were photographed by Holly. She happens to be a super talented photog.

don't try to pop pimples that you know are unpoppable.

So the sister of a certain high profile human that I may or may not fancy whose name starts with an H and ends with an arry Styles wrote an article on her 25th birthday about what she's learned so far in her quarter century of life (not to get all dramatic, but Harry Styles might be the kindest human I've never met). And also sidenote: I really can't believe I've lived over a quarter of a century. I know most people live much longer than that, but it still just feels like such a feat, you know? It must be the word 'century' making me feel like all epic and stuff. 

Anyway, said sister had some great things to say and some great life hacks. I'm not sure I have many of those, by way of life hacks I mean, but her blog post really got me thinking, what have I learned in my 27+ years on this earth? 

Well, I'm still figuring that out. And honestly, I don't trust anyone who says they already have. But point being, I decided to write out 27 things that my life experiences have so far proven to me to be true. I'm not sure why but when I started writing, I wrote as though I was talking to my younger self. Honestly, I wish things were reversed and younger me were the one writing to older me. I bet younger me would have had some great nuggets of wisdom :) 

Alas, here goes. Here are 27 things (Life hacks if you will? You probably won't because I'm not confident I know the definition of the word 'hack' in terms of life and none of these may actually qualify as hacks) that I've learned in my twenty-seven years living this crazy beautiful thing called life:

1. Life is going to try and turn you into a cynic. Don't let it.

2. Don't try to pop pimples that you know are unpoppable. Seriously, don't. They won't pop, and you'll just have an acne scar to show for it.

3. Genuinely read all the books you're assigned in middle and high school. You won't regret it when you're an adult. They're classics for a reason (I'm looking at you, East of Eden).

4. When you're stressed or upset, ask yourself will this be a big deal to me in 5 years? If the answer is no, then fight to let it go. If the answer is yes, then fight for it.

5. Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.

6. Learn to sit in silence. You'll appreciate the serenity and solace in the midst of this noisy world.

7. Write stuff down. Pen and paper style.

8. Have money directly deposited into a savings account before it ever has a chance of making it into your spending account. Then treat your savings as though they're Fort Knox.

9. Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God. (This is straight from Jim Elliott, but it's just so damn good).

10. Be generous. With your money, with your talents, with your time, with who you are. On that note, live simply. Stuff is just stuff. Don't ever let material possessions own you. We need far less than we think to live a joy filled life.

11. When you're in Pre-K and nap time rolls around - TAKE IT. For the love of all that is good in this world, take a freakin' nap. Adult you will regret every time you passed up the glorious chance for an extra snooze. 

12. Ask. Ask once, ask twice, ask again until you understand. Ask the questions no one else dares to ask. Ask yourself the hard questions you may think you don't want to know the answers to. Ask the Lord what He thinks and what He's up to and what He says about stuff. Live a life of learning. You aren't inherently born with knowledge or understanding, so ask.

13. Don't be afraid to be the only one. Rosa Parks wasn't. Jesus wasn't. Juror 8 in the movie 12 Angry Men wasn't. (Thank you high school movies that were shown in class so you had no excuse not to watch them, unlike the books previously mentioned in number 3).

14. This nugget of wisdom is thefted as well from an anonymous genius**, but I think it's just brilliant: be kind whenever possible. It's always possible. Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. 

15. Never underestimate a child. In so many ways, they are far wiser than us adults.

16. Start exercising (apart from team sports) and eating healthy as soon as you can in life because the Freshmen 15 is no joke, my friend. And neither is that thing you hear about your metabolism slowing down in your mid-20's. It's just a fact. A sad, sad fact.

17. Relationships are worth fighting for. In fact, I'm not sure there's much else on this earth that's more worthy of being fought for.

18. On that note, you know how they say 'Show me your friends and I'll show you the man?' Actually, who says that? Was that Jesus? I'm about to Google it. Okay, so I'm apparently misquoting it, and it also was not Jesus who said that. I'm really not sure who said it first but anyway, I think it's pretty true. Surround yourself with amazing people. Not only will they make you into an amazing person, they'll make life pretty amazing, too. 

19. Underpromise and overdeliver. (Heads up: you're not so naturally gifted at this).

20. Take criticism. It will help you grow. Posture yourself so others will feel as though they can even give you criticism. And when they do, receive it. Even if you think they may be wrong, receive it and weigh it. It may or may not be truer than you care to admit. 

21. Make the next good decision. You don't have to make the next 10 good decisions, just make the next good decision. Life is a cumulation of your moments, not of your intentions.

22. Life's unfair. In both directions. The only thing that's fair is that it's unfair for everyone. 

23. Quirks and idiosyncrasies aren't what you want in middle school but as an adult, it's the people who just own who they are that are the very coolest. 

24. Celebrate what is praiseworthy in others. Everyone has an incredible story. Listen to it and celebrate it. Even people you think you don't like or that you just don't care for, if you take the time to listen, you'll have to admit they have a pretty incredible story. Anyone made in the image of the universe's Creator (i.e. every human on the planet, even the seemingly crummy ones) are a creative masterpiece. Celebrate that.

25. Vote. Not only will you get one of those cool 'I Voted!' stickers and feel all good about fulfilling your civic duties, it's a privilege denied to many. You honor those who can't by treasuring the opportunity that you can. 

26. Don't start smoking. Or doing drugs. Or doing anything that just seems like a bad idea. I have no idea how you stop once you start. The people that do are just amazing. It's just easiest to say nope to dope (and other bad things) right out of the gate. Self-control is not overrated. Seriously, to be self-controlled in an indulgent world, that may be the bigger feat than making it to 27. 

27. Floss. And wear a helmet. Just do it. Gingivitis and traumatic brain injuries both sound like the pits. Gingivitis I'm sure tastes like the pits, too.

27 and 1/2. It won't always be this hard. He's making everything new and everything beautiful in its own time. 

**Everything I know, I've learned from someone else. Seriously.